You know when you are leaving your house with your keys in your hand, ready to lock the door behind you,... and you can't help but think you forgot something. Maybe you did... Maybe you're just driving yourself nuts. And all day, you're wondering when it's going to pop up. That THING you forgot at home, that THING that you're going to kick yourself when you realize you forgot it...
That's what's been looming over my head for several months.
Sometimes, if I get myself into a funk over something or feel like I'm "stuck", I think to myself, There's gotta be something missing here; something I'm forgetting to realize; something that would make this entire situation all better. What's the root cause of my issue? And then I realized.
Sometimes, I don't feel like I deserve "it".
Whenever there's something I really want... success, money, a loving relationship, to book a show in zimbabwe... anything... If it stresses me out to think about it, I finally realized that that stress is coming from a place of wondering if I'm actually worthy of those things. Who am I to have everything I've ever wanted? Doesn't there have to be some friction in my life? Don't I have to be sad about something? I mean, if everything is going great, what do I have to grip on to? If I'm smooth sailing all the time, when am I gonna crash into a dead end?
Along with realizing this underlying cause of frustration... this "fear of success" situation... I realized I can do something about it!
Whenever I feel like the success, the happiness is too much or isn't going to work out, because I couldn't possibly deserve all the good, I stop myself and I say,
"YOU DESERVE THIS!"
YOU ARE WORTHY OF THIS!"
YOU ARE HAVING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE
AT THE RIGHT TIME, IN THE RIGHT WAY!"
And maybe it's as simple as that. Maybe it is as simple as realizing that you deserve all the good that is coming to you.
And there is so much good coming to YOU.